Ceremonial Opening

What a way to kick off the Olympics! It was very nice of Danny Boyle to arrange a refresher course in European History 101 since it's been a while for me. For example, I totally forgot that England was a bunch of maypole pagan sissies until Kenneth Branagh came along with his band of breakdancing industry titans, forced everyone to smelt iron ore and then invented the Olympics. I had mistakenly thought they are still maypole pagan sissies. I stand corrected. Aside from accidental Occidental learning, there was plenty more to feast your eyes on:

How nice of the Queen to make a surprise appearance! I don't care what people say, she looks stunning in black...

The obligatory Tron scene

I had no idea Betty White was British - how nice of them to pair her with James Bond.

Oh, and if you had tae kwon do in the side-pool for most flagbearers, you won going away. Congrats!

Lastly, the ceremonies made some time for Herbalife spokesman David Beckham. Coincidentally, Beckham has played in just as many Olympics as the Queen and poolmaster combined!

But alack, all good fodder for jokes must come to an end. Let's play.