And so it begins.
Armed with a buggy Windows Media Center computer, a bottle of baby formula, and a 2 week old left back-in-training, Poolmaster was able to watch every minute of the first 16 games in the tournament. I have lived to tell the tale, but it is a boring one. So instead let's go straight to the match day 1 awards:
Best goal: Maicon against North Korea. North Korea had been stonewalling Brazil the whole game, but this nutty angle shot made everything right in the world again. It brought back painful memories of his nutty angle shot against USA in the Confederations Cup, but that is the price I pay to ensure my #32 team stays out of round 2...
Worst goal: What the internets are now calling The Robert Green Howler. Feel free to watch it again and again in human form or in lego form. [hat tip: halfpoint]
Biggest surprise: Switzerland over Spain. This had the feel of a bracket buster type moment. Runner up: New Zealand's last-minute equalizer.
Worst big hair band name idea: Last-Minute Equalizer
Biggest letdown: tie. 1a. Diego Maradona hasn't done anything criminally insane yet. He actually looks distinguished in the beard and gray suit. It's like he walked off the set of a PBS movie called "The Tavern Spindles of Buckminstershire Abbey" or something. 1b. Announcers continue to give refs the benefit of the doubt when calling fouls that are clear dives. If I have to listen to vuvuzelas, I want a little bit of incredulity from my announcers to go with it.
Quickest dive: Daniele de Rossi of (wait for it...) Italy looked to have this in the bag with a virtual cartwheel at the 9 minute mark without being touched by his Paraguayan opponent. But then again, Cristiano Ronaldo hadn't played yet, had he? Portugal's native goober needed 6 min and 21 secs to launch himself against Cote d'Ivoire. (I think that's the right link, honestly there are 4 different youtube links of him diving at different times in this game alone...) Bonus points for drawing the yellow card!
Best name: Ok, so we don't have any Spontaneous Gordon, Spartacus Bernstein, or Dinero Fudge, but world cup names still hold their own. The first round winner is Hakan Yakan of Switzerland. The faster you say it, the cooler it is. Runner up: Surprise Moriri of South Africa - geez, his parents just laid it all out there, didn't they?
In the pool, Ukari Figgs is the clear front runner thanks to Ghana's late penalty strike. Closely behind is Dental Hygenius and his Chile/Mexican double dip. Bringing up the rear is Louis Louis who is having an Argentinian nightmare right now. One other note, I found one more entry stuck in my spam box that is in the mix. Please welcome Spammy Vinet. He strolls into 13th place. We are now 21, with first place money up to $70, second still $35.
Plenty of footy to go, so pace yourselves on the scenario permutations. Just know that USA would love to beat England on goal differential to win the group, as that sets up a round of 16 game against Ghana instead of Germany, and a round of 8 game with Uruguay instead of Argentina... (Note I haven't seen the USA-Slovenia match yet, so the previous sentence is almost certainly already hogwash.)
Enjoy the games everyone!
Poolmaster
Armed with a buggy Windows Media Center computer, a bottle of baby formula, and a 2 week old left back-in-training, Poolmaster was able to watch every minute of the first 16 games in the tournament. I have lived to tell the tale, but it is a boring one. So instead let's go straight to the match day 1 awards:
Best goal: Maicon against North Korea. North Korea had been stonewalling Brazil the whole game, but this nutty angle shot made everything right in the world again. It brought back painful memories of his nutty angle shot against USA in the Confederations Cup, but that is the price I pay to ensure my #32 team stays out of round 2...
Worst goal: What the internets are now calling The Robert Green Howler. Feel free to watch it again and again in human form or in lego form. [hat tip: halfpoint]
Biggest surprise: Switzerland over Spain. This had the feel of a bracket buster type moment. Runner up: New Zealand's last-minute equalizer.
Worst big hair band name idea: Last-Minute Equalizer
Biggest letdown: tie. 1a. Diego Maradona hasn't done anything criminally insane yet. He actually looks distinguished in the beard and gray suit. It's like he walked off the set of a PBS movie called "The Tavern Spindles of Buckminstershire Abbey" or something. 1b. Announcers continue to give refs the benefit of the doubt when calling fouls that are clear dives. If I have to listen to vuvuzelas, I want a little bit of incredulity from my announcers to go with it.
Quickest dive: Daniele de Rossi of (wait for it...) Italy looked to have this in the bag with a virtual cartwheel at the 9 minute mark without being touched by his Paraguayan opponent. But then again, Cristiano Ronaldo hadn't played yet, had he? Portugal's native goober needed 6 min and 21 secs to launch himself against Cote d'Ivoire. (I think that's the right link, honestly there are 4 different youtube links of him diving at different times in this game alone...) Bonus points for drawing the yellow card!
Best name: Ok, so we don't have any Spontaneous Gordon, Spartacus Bernstein, or Dinero Fudge, but world cup names still hold their own. The first round winner is Hakan Yakan of Switzerland. The faster you say it, the cooler it is. Runner up: Surprise Moriri of South Africa - geez, his parents just laid it all out there, didn't they?
In the pool, Ukari Figgs is the clear front runner thanks to Ghana's late penalty strike. Closely behind is Dental Hygenius and his Chile/Mexican double dip. Bringing up the rear is Louis Louis who is having an Argentinian nightmare right now. One other note, I found one more entry stuck in my spam box that is in the mix. Please welcome Spammy Vinet. He strolls into 13th place. We are now 21, with first place money up to $70, second still $35.
Plenty of footy to go, so pace yourselves on the scenario permutations. Just know that USA would love to beat England on goal differential to win the group, as that sets up a round of 16 game against Ghana instead of Germany, and a round of 8 game with Uruguay instead of Argentina... (Note I haven't seen the USA-Slovenia match yet, so the previous sentence is almost certainly already hogwash.)
Enjoy the games everyone!
Poolmaster
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