The North Korea bandwagon user's guide

So you watched North Korea hold off the best team in the world today for the first 55 minutes, and you surprised yourself when there was a lump of sadness in your throat after Maicon finally scored that crazy acute goal? Well here is a brief guide to aid you follow your new favorite scrappy underdog tyrannical dictatorship.

1. Patriotism.   You knew we were in for a fight when NK's best player is nicknamed the "Asian Rooney" and he was breaking down crying during the national anthem. It would be easy to throw in a "there's no crying in the World Cup" joke here, but that would be a load of crap.

2. NK and the USA have one thing in common: they don't dive. If a NK player is on the ground, you can be sure he was crunched and there is probably blood. Furthermore, they don't stay on the ground pretending an injury that can only be cured with magic spray in order to buy some time to recover. They bounce right back up. Which brings me to the next point...

3. Leave it to the North Koreans to know how to follow the rules. These guys never foul intentionally, never get yellow cards, never question authority (surprise surprise), and even apologize to the refs for an offside. ***apologize to the ref***

4. Defense wins championships. For all you guys who pretend you like those 7-3 mud bowl football defensive games, these guys are for you. They pack the box and dare you to find a way in. If it takes Brazil an hour to figure it out, how long will it take mortal teams?

5. Confusing the announcers. I've never heard the phrase "what is going on here?" in a match before, but I cackled when I did.

Caveat. In the end, their country is still led by the world's biggest nutcase who starves and terrorizes his own people. Moreover the families of these players are probably part of the party elite, not innocent peasants.

So should you at least root for them over Cristiano Ronaldo next week? Hmmm...